reply to you heidi

damnit. this is why i should keep all of my feelings to myself. or write where nobody can see. i wrote that they shouldn't be read deeply. nobody's being accused. there is just something i have to find out. there is nothing to feel guilty about. i hate myself for this. 'don't make assumptions'. i have been again. and you did with my words. im sorry. there are some things we need to talk about. but i can't help thinking back to what kim told me last night. she mentioned that when you came in to talk to her she told you something. she told you that through it all i would still be your friend, for id rather have you as a friend than lose you completely. shes right. nobody is accusing you. there are no rumors. the drama isnt there, it was just writing. we'll talk. my writing came when i was frustrated, angry for many reasons; not being able to sleep was a big one. and then lying in bed thinking just made everything pile up. im sorry. even though i may write it sometimes i could never not see you again. that would be unbearable. i still love you. you havent done anything wrong. i love you.