I Wish

I want to take your pain away,
Transfer it all to me.
I long for you to be happy
I want you to enjoy life.
I’d sacrifice everything,
everything & anyone,
to stop
your despair.

tao te ching

* tao te ching is an ancient wisdom used originally by people in China. Much of the ancient wisdom has since been translated into versions that apply to people's lives still today, though it was written approximately twenty-five hundred years ago. The poetic wisdom in the tao te ching is meant to promote a sense of reality, meaning, and thought in our lives.

'Stop trying to wrap up your feelings into a neat package.
Feel what you feel.
Let your feelings flourish.
What real choice have you?
Be clear on this point,
and get on with your life of doing.'

'First there is reality
Then there is me thinking about reality
Then there is me thinking about me thinking about reality.
The mind creates "things."
Yet all things spring from reality.
They fit together, thanks to reality.
We loathe despair, loneliness, insignificance.
Yet we all experience these feelings.
In trying to suppress them
we exaggerate them.
In embracing them
we diminish them.
This teaching is not new.
The stronger our desires
the greater we fear failure.
We die a thousand unnatural deaths
unnecessarily.'

Being With You Feels Right

* More quotes and lyrics...

'And I would stay here
forever in this moment if I could
No I can't find the reason why
I don't want to be alone tonight
It's just the way it hurts inside
And how being with you feels right'

'I may not get to see you as often as I like. I may not get to hold you in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, you're the one that I love, and I can't let you go.'

'...Cause I miss you, body and soul, so strong that it takes my breath away and I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today. 'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right, and though I can't be with you tonight, you know my heart is by your side.'

'I wish I could see through your eyes so I would know what you like to see. I wish I knew your wishes, so I could give you everything you want. I wish I dreamed the same dreams you do, and together we could make them come true. I wish I knew what makes you happy, so I could make you the happiest person in the whole world.'

True

* Edited lyrics to Ryan Cabrera's song 'True'

I'm weak
it's true
cause I'm afraid to know the answer
do you want me too?
cause my heart keeps falling faster

so I will not hide
i'ts time to try anything to be with you

I'm weak
it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending

its time to try anything to be with you
all my life I've waited
this is true

* In my last post i made some comments on the bottom, since then i have promised myself that any thoughts or worries i have that i decide to post on here will be told to that someone. it hurts to hide or pretend that nothing is wrong, and by not talking about it, everyone gets hurt and the issue is made into something it never would have had to be. sorry if none of that made sense... as long as i know whats going on, right?

Lost

* These are part of the lyrics to a song by Pillar, they are a heavy metal Christian Rock band, and have a lot of really good songs. When I heard this one tonight I knew I would end up posting it.

Let it out, can You hear me?
Can You hear me cry?
Let it out, don't hold back, all this I got inside
Let it out, can You hear me?
Can You hear me cry?
Let it out, don't hold back now
We've got to let it out

I don't know if we'll ever really be the same
Or could it be that we feel a sense of shame?
We forgot from where we came
I don't know if we try to make it all a game
I think it's time we take the blame
And get back, rekindle this flame

So, when I cry out, are You listening?
I know You can hear me, I know You can hear me
You're my Comfort, can You hear me?
I know You can hear me, You're my Comfort
Can You hear me? Can You hear me?

* I know when I started this blog I had originally planned on not posting any of my own thoughts. The idea of a journal that everyone could read didn't sit well with me... but now as I am continuing I am finding it harder and harder to not post my feelings, my thoughts, my emotions. There are thoughts that are in my head that I can only tell to one person, and when I can't tell her, then this is my only escape.

How Should I Feel?

* I plan on going to bed soon, as I'm lacking sleep and truthfully about to fall asleep at the computer. Look at the times of some of my posts and you will understand my craziness. I feel like crap, not just because I am tired; though I am sure that doesn't help. Maybe I am just paranoid, over-analyzing, worrying, for no reason. But my insticts tell me something else, they tell me something that I don't want to believe; something I don't want to think about. What I am posting isn't exactly what is running through my mind, but when I read them they seemed to relate to how I felt, what I'm thinking about...

"I sat there and stared at you. I just couldn't understand how such an amazing person could be in my life. And then all of a sudden, I got extremely scared. You told me not to worry, there was no way you'd ever leave me. I felt a sense of comfort. I believed you. Should I have?"

One more kiss could be the best thing
Or one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And your not something I deserve

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
And I know what I'm going through

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside
I know, I know
But all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows, who knows

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go

Run

* Just the refrain from the Kutless song... Run.

So, why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know I
just, just want to be with you, to be with you
Hey, why do you run why do you hide oh don't you know
I just, just want to be with you, to be with you...

The Way I Feel

* These are some condensed lyrics by the 12 Stones...

Lately I've been wandering
Off the narrow path
You've given me so many things that I've never had
And all in all I know it's you that always pulls me through
If you reach deep inside you'll see my heart is true
Cuz I hate the way I feel tonight
And I know I need you in my life
Yes I hate the way I feel inside

The world I know is pulling me, pulling more each day
I feel like the odd man out as I begin to pray
Spiteful eyes are watching me
With everything I do

You know sometimes deep inside
I feel like this!!
Cuz I hate the way I feel tonight
And I know I need you in my life
Yes I hate the way I feel inside
And I promise to make the sacrifice
I hate the way I feel tonight
And I know I need you in my life yeah
The way I feel like the way...the way I feel...

Attitude

You've got to sing like you don't need the money.
You've got to love like you'll never get hurt.
You've got to dance like there's nobody watching.

You've got to come from the heart, if you want it to work.

Just Get Going

Challenges are high, The Dreams are new,
The World out there is waiting for you.
Dare to dream, Dare to try
No goal is too distant, No star is too high

Just Get Going.

Randomness (YAY!)

* Okay, it's 2:30 in the morning and I am in a good mood. Know what that means?... yes... weird and random things. So... here are some questions I found that I would like to know the answers too (not really). Just some things to think about. :)-

- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

-What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

-If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

-If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?

-How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

-Why do people, such as S.W.A.T or Seals wear the bulletproof vests where you can see them? Wouldn’t people aim for their head or crotch?

-Since the U.S. says United We Stand, does that offend legless people?

-Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for?

-Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

-If a robber tried to rob a dance club and yelled, "Everybody get down", would all the people start dancing?

This Feeling I Have Inside

* Wow... I read this and I was amazed... I have edited it briefly, but it spoke to me more than anything I have read in awhile. I haven't written anything lately, but if I could write as eloquently as this, then this is what my heart would have wanted to write over the past week.
(The person who wrote this has many other great works on her website at http://www.alia-801.net/poems1.html) :)

Love
This feeling I have deep inside.

I know love carries risks -
I could lose you.
You could just tire of me
and my insecurities;
and my strange emotions
and my need for you.

I could end up with nothing.

Love is never without cost,
but I'm prepared to pay all I can for you
because to me you're worth more than the world
and the stars
and the whole of space
and my life.

You're worth the risk
time after time,
every day -
I need you beside me
for as long as you can
until whenever that may be.

I hope it's forever.

If I Knew

* I was reading some poetry and came across this piece. The author is anonymous, but the poem is beautiful. We don't know what the next day may bring, so we must live the day we have with the people we love most and remember just how special they are. For if tomorrow brings tragedy, I don't want to regret not having the person I love know just how much they mean to me.

If I Knew
Author:Unknown

If I knew it would be the last time that I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord , your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you would Know I do.

If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day,
well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.

For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance to make everthing just right.
There will always be another day to say "I love you."
And certainly there's another chance to say "Anything I can do?"

But in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike,
and today maybe the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.

So, if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day,
that you didn't take extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were
too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear,
tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear.
Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you'" or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

All Alone: Let Me In

* This is the chorus and one stanza from a song by Kutless (Awesome Band!)
...kept running through my head today.

You're all alone
Running out of ways to
Hold on to hope
And it always slips away
You're all alone
But you don't have to
Pretend to cope
There is a brighter way

If you would change your perspective
You'd see that it is true
Life is not always what you want
Sometimes it's hard to bear
I'd be with you, and help you in all that you go through
I love you, let me change your heart by coming in

Simplicity of Life

The price we pay for the complexity of life is too high. When you think of all the effort you have to put in --telephonic, technological and relational --to alter even the slightest bit of behavior in this strange world we call social life, you are left pining for the straightforwardness of primitive peoples and their physical work. -Jean Baudrillard French Postmodern Philosopher, Writer

Worry

Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling
through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts
a channel into which all other thoughts
are drained. -Arthur Somers Rache

Day Before You

*** This is an awesome song by Rascal Flatts and all too well speaks to how I have been feeling lately :)

Rascal Flatts - The Day Before You

I had all but given up
On finding the one that I could fall into
On the day before you
I was ready to settle for
Less than love and not much more
There was no such thing as a dream come true
Oh, but that was on the day before you

Now you're here and everything's changing
Suddenly life means so much
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
And find out this promise is true
I will never have to go back to
The day before you

In your eyes I see forever
It makes me wish that my life never knew
The day before you
Oh, but Heaven knows those years without you
Were shapin' my heart for the day that I found you
You're the reason for all that I've been through
Then I'm thankful for the day before you-
yeah, yeah

Now you're here and everything's changing
Suddenly life means so much
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
And find out this promise is true
I will never have to go back to
The day before you

Was the last day that I ever lived alone
And I'm never goin' back
No, I'm never goin' back

Now you're here and everything's changing
Suddenly life means so much
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow
And find out this promise is true
I will never have to go back to
Yeah, I will never have to go back to
The day before you, the day before you