How Should I Feel?

* I plan on going to bed soon, as I'm lacking sleep and truthfully about to fall asleep at the computer. Look at the times of some of my posts and you will understand my craziness. I feel like crap, not just because I am tired; though I am sure that doesn't help. Maybe I am just paranoid, over-analyzing, worrying, for no reason. But my insticts tell me something else, they tell me something that I don't want to believe; something I don't want to think about. What I am posting isn't exactly what is running through my mind, but when I read them they seemed to relate to how I felt, what I'm thinking about...

"I sat there and stared at you. I just couldn't understand how such an amazing person could be in my life. And then all of a sudden, I got extremely scared. You told me not to worry, there was no way you'd ever leave me. I felt a sense of comfort. I believed you. Should I have?"

One more kiss could be the best thing
Or one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And your not something I deserve

I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
And I know what I'm going through

And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside
I know, I know
But all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows, who knows

You love me but you don't know who I am
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you don't know who I am
So let me go, just let me go