Moving On After Losing Everything

Someone today asked me this: "I have a question for you... how do you do it?? How do you deal with being alone when you know whats its like to have everything??"

At first I couldn't believe someone would ask me that. Then it made me think. When I was with her I did have everything, and I tried so hard never to lose that. I felt so fulfilled when I was with her. When she left I was left alone with this huge feeling of emptiness. I felt like I had lost everything. I missed her companionship, the constant comfort of knowing she was there, her kisses, her smile. I missed the one person I had ever been able to completely open myself up too, and I felt like I would never be able to find someone like that again. For the longest time I held onto a hope that this was all a dream, that we'd remember how it felt to be so completely in love with one another.

I don't think I've moved on. I have, but I haven't. I still hold onto a hope that we will be together again one day. I still believe that no one else will come close to the love, come close to the bond that I have already shared. I didn't only lose my fiance that day, I lost my best friend.

The truth is I have moved on. There are times I still feel lonely, when I still feel sad. But I have been given so many new opportunities, sought out so many new experiences, that my life has been fulfilling in other ways. I have found ways to be productive. It seems that as a door in my life has closed, another has opened. The doors may not lead to the same place, but each brings with it a new experience. I haven't covered my emotions by becoming someone I am not, or giving up on the morals and values I hold. I have discovered again that I no longer need someone to make my life fulfilling. I hold on to the hope that I will be with her again, but I have realized that I must trust in God and rely on him. God has his own timetable and plans for our lives. I trust that He will provide for me. There are many times when I feel so vulnerable, but I place my trust, my faith, in Him.

With Faith, Hope, and Love... I remain.